From a column about a man who ate 177 pickled jalapeños in 15 minutes:
It was the most awe-inspiring, uvula-tickling, gut-churning spectacle I have ever witnessed in what I must say is a long personal history of watching people eat. There were moments when I could only peek through cracks in the fingers I had clenched over my eyes; and there were moments when my lunch only stayed down because of the fingers clenched over my mouth.
From a profile of “The Salsa Twins” Jim and John Thomas:
In a rumpled plaid shirt and well-worn khakis, John Thomas Jr. carries an air of the eccentric inventor as he darts across the floor of his 8,000 square-foot salsa production facility with what I can only guess is some sort of flux capacitor. It could also be the guts of a cash register or a lawn mower for all I know, but the concerned look on Thomas’s face tells me it’s something important; the look certainly tells more than the “circuits blah blah wire blah blah” he mumbles as he rushes past. I’m here to interview Thomas, one of the identical twins who own Albuquerque’s famous El Pinto restaurant, and I’ve already tasted one of everything on the menu out in the dining room. Jim Garcia, the director of operations, is eager for me to meet Thomas, but it’s obvious he’d rather re-solder every wire on the flux capacitor’s motherboard than have to talk to a reporter.
From a report on the reintroduction of the Mexican gray wolf:
According to the wildlife service rules, it is illegal to kill a wolf if it is attacking family pet, even if it’s on private land. The penalty for violating these rules is imprisonment of not more than one year and a combination of criminal and civil fines of up to $75,000. …
“The problem with the reintroduction is that … you can’t protect yourself. Suppose you saved all your life and bought a house in the mountains. Then wolves started coming around and ate your pets and you couldn’t go outside, so you called Fish and Wildlife and they wouldn’t do anything. How would you feel?”
From a breaking news story on voter intimidation that resulted in two lawsuits:
Guadalupe Bojorquez said a man who identified himself as a private investigator by the name of Al Romero visited the home of her 67-year-old mother on Wednesday.
“She calls me and she’s panicked because there is this man outside and he’s telling her he’s an investigator and he wants to come in to the house,” Bojorquez told NMI. She said her mother then put the man on the phone.
“I asked him, but he wouldn’t tell me who he worked for. He just said he wanted to verify that she was a legitimate voter and he wanted to see her documents. I told him ‘No,’ and we argued for a little bit.
From a story on a mayoral candidate forum:
“It’s like watching an NBA basketball player [compete] with a high school team.”
That’s how Albuquerque design firm owner Sandy Hill described Tuesday night’s Mayoral Forum on the Arts and Culture at the VSA North Fourth Arts Center in the North Valley. She was using the words of a friend, but after watching Mayor Martin Chavez easily outmaneuver his rivals state Rep. Richard Berry and former state Sen. Richard Romero, Hill thought the sports metaphor was apt.
The hour-long forum was hosted by The Arts Alliance and moderated by Dan Mayfield, assistant arts editor at the Albuquerque Journal. To use a different sports metaphor, Chavez hit a lot of home runs while Berry and Romero mostly struck out.
